[This is why I love him]

We were skyping on Christmas. He goes of camera and comes back on with this on and keeps talking like normal. I laughed way hard. I love you Chris!

[Thanksgiving]

So, I pretty much had the perfect Thanksgiving break. Some of my family was upset at not having the chance to meet my boyfriend, Chris...so I promised to post some pics of him/us on my blog for those not on facebook. Enjoy! ;)

Our first date :) We had a grass fight.

[My business is to create.]

I must create a system or be enslaved by another mans; I will not reason and compare: my business is to create. -William Blake

Life is not about discovering yourself, it is about creating yourself.

[Rethink]

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. -Alan Alda

Growing up in a dominantly LDS community, you never really have to question or wonder why we do what we do. Its possible just to obey by default and never think twice about it. Well, being here at Westminster...you can't really do that. As people ask me why I don't drink, or why I go to church every Sunday...my lack of response has shaken me. My beliefs make me happy, and I know its right...but I don't know why yet.

I guess I'm heading towards "knowing for myself" and "not relying on the testimony of others." To be honest, I'm excited to begin this new investigation of my beliefs, to acquire a deeper understanding and eventually more diligent obedience. Wish me luck and post any advice please! Loves!

[New Favorite Things]

-Big bowls of Malt O'Meal fruity pebbles

-Forum Firesides at the institute building

-James Dean movies (oldish favorite...but rediscovered this weekend)

-Jacket weather

-Letting my hair be natural

-Classical Singing

-Bachelor Pad (Monday nights on ABC)

-Spitfire Grill

[Risks]

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Chained by their altitudes, they area slave, they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is truly free.

-Author Unknown

[Shelby]

Its official.....the last of my auditions have ended...for now :).

This past week auditions/callbacks took place for the fall musical: The Spitfire Grill. It was a very different experience compared to high school auditions. In high school (usually) lots of people audition and only a few get called back. Here, there were a small amount of people who auditioned (my guess about 35 maybe 40) and I think there was about half the audioners got callbacks. Also, the cast size is the smallest I have ever worked with- 7 roles and 3 ensemble members. This was a very intimidating audition.

Callbacks were grueling- they went for about 3 1/2 hours. We had to sing several songs and read 5-10 scenes depending on the number of roles they were considering you for. I got called back for Percy & Shelby, so I was looking at 4 songs and 10 scenes/monologues. Long story short- I left callbacks exhausted & unsure. Everyone at the callback was really talented so I had no idea where I fit in.

So I've been waiting for an e-mail all weekend...and nothing has come. This morning I had pretty much given up...But I did receive a phone call from the stage manager- I'll be playing the role of Shelby. The show plays Thursday November 11, 2010 through Saturday, November 20, 2010.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVzqPnxNLlQ (video of a duet I will sing in the show)

[Research Shows...]

So I have my first paper assignment...I am writing about the unrealistic expectations society has for women & thier appearance. As I have researched this topic more & more, it has begun to take its toll on me.

Did you know that Marilyn Monroe was a size 12? Fat, by todays standards....but one of the most beautiful and remembered women of her time. What happened? How did size 2 become the new goal?

Basically, I am stuck. I don't want to conform to these unrealistic, and to be honest absurd expectations...but I feel like if I don't I'll be "ugly." Whats a girl to do? How can a size 7, curvy girl feel good about herself when the media is projecting these images at her from every angle? For now I remain stuck...more to come when I come to a real conclusion. :)

[4 Beautiful Words]

Today I had an auditions. It was for Chamber Singers.

I have a cold, and my vocal chords were swollen.

So I was nervous.

I mixed up the audition time with an audition I have next week and missed my time slot.

Luckily the girl who was running auditions gave me a call and a new time.

I ran across campus and arrived sweaty and coughing up a storm.

I was given a few minutes to rest and then was sent onstage.

I sang the piece as well as my poor chords would allow.

My auditioner came down after my piece and shook my hand and said:

"Welcome to Chamber Singers."

[Many prayers of gratitude were said on my way out. I couldn't have done it without the extra help. My testimony grows more and more every day here, out on my own.]

[Westmini]

Westmini....turns out thats the cool way around here to refer to Westminster.

Today was moving day. It started out to be a very emotional day; as was stated in the last post [haha]. But here I am...happy and with positive feelings toward this college experience. :) Who whouldda thought? Today I was met with several things that put my heart to rest. Here are just a few of the happy things that I discovered upon moving up to beautiful Sugar House.

#1 I HAVE MY OWN ROOM!!! Man, I don't know how I got so lucky to move into the upper classmen dorms but here I am....301A all to myself. I had no idea all of us would have our own rooms so this was a great surprise. I am a girl who needs her own space...and having a place where I can retreat to and have all to myself (with a door that locks!) is such a blessing.

#2 Great institute program! After I got here we went down to meet with the different organizations that are offered here on campus. Our first stop was the institue/student ward- so great! Everyone was so friendly and welcoming- what they say about the church is so true, you really do have friends everywhere you go. I am looking forward to getting involved with the ward!

#3 Theater Box Office Job! Well this isn't for certain....but its looking good. I qualified for Work/Study so that automatically puts me as first priority. I'm just glad I won't have to work fast food.

#4 Good Drinking Water! K, I know this sounds silly but I was pleasantly surprised when I took a drink out of the drinking fountain. Turns out all of the water on campus is "filtered and chilled." Score.

#5 Mailbox in the lobby! I was super excited about this; getting letters in the mail is my favorite thing! I am looking forward to writing and receiving letters for/from my friends on missions.

Thats enough for now. I will sleep soundly in my ikea bedset tonight. Love to you all!

[Goodbye]

I move on Saturday, so this week has been filled with goodbyes. I didn't think it would be this hard- I'm only moving about 30 minutes away...but it might as well be 300 miles. I have the most amazing friends and it makes me so sad to think about going to a school where I don't know a soul and leaving these amazing people behind. We will never be the carefree high school group of crazies again. Even though it is hard to watch us all go our separate ways I am so excited to watch my friends do some amazing things. I just hope that we are able to stay connected and in touch. Kara, Dallin, Rachel, Darren, Zach, (Elder) Spencer, & Amberly....I love you guys!

[I'd Give It All For You]

I had a house while you were gone

The week after you left me

I found a couple acres

Near Sarilla Park

I had a house while you were gone

A house with silver shutters

And a driveway laid in marble

And thousands of rooms to fill

And miles of space to fly

And I tried to believe it,

It was better without you

I was safer alone

No, I'd give it all for you

I'd give it all for you by my side once more

Oh, I'd give it all for you

I'd give it all to hold you again

To feel I'm completed

To know there and then

That all that I needed

Was you to fight the fear

And now you're here

I took a trip while I was gone

I cashed in all my savings

And bought an Eldorado

Drove to Tennessee

I took a trip while I was gone

I drove across the country

And I stopped at lots of diners

And stared at a million stars

And thought I could touch the sky

And I tried to believe it,

It was better without you

I was finally free

No, I'd give it all for you

I'd give it all for you by my side once more

Oh, I'd give it all for you

I'd give it ‘cause the mountains I climb

Get higher and higher

I'm running from time

And walking through fire

And dreams just don't come true

But now there's you

God knows it's easy to hide,

Easy to hide from the things that you feel

And harder to blindly trust

What you can't understand

God knows it's easy to run,

Easy to run from the people you love

And harder to stand and fight

For the things you believe

Nothing about us was perfect or clear

But when paradise calls me

I'd rather be here

There's something between us

That nobody else needs to see

There were oceans to cross

There were mountains to conquer

And I stood on the shore

And I stood on the cliff

And the second before I jumped

I knew where I needed to be

Oh, I gave it all for you

I gave it all for you by my side once more

Oh, I gave it all for you

I gave it ‘cause it's harder to touch

The things that are dearer

I love you too much

To trust something clearer

I know I fell too far

But here you are

[Expl]Ovaries

Warning: This post may (and most likely will) contain the words: ovaries, uterus, rupture & an assortment of other awkward female reproductive system words. I am warning you now if this makes you feel uncomfortable this post is not for you.

Back in February I had an ovarian cyst that ruptured. It was actually a pretty exciting (and painful) adventure.

[For those of you out of the loop: a bunch of my friends were helping me answer my date for Sweethearts and I was suddenly on the ground in a ball crying due to a very sudden, very sharp pain in my lower abdomen. My dear sweet friend Kara drove me and my car home and my very strong and manly friend Darren carried me into my house where I was rushed to the ER by my parents. At 3:00am after a blood test, CT scan, 2 Ultrasounds, and a urine sample they concluded that I had a very large cyst that had just ruptured. They sent me home with some Lortab. The next day my wonderful friends came to visit and basically babysit me because I was pretty drugged up ("I'm not tired..."). I was out for about 6 1/2 days, again- I am so lucky to have such great friends who were so willing to come watch lame movies or play silly games- Darren, Amberly, and Kara.]

Anywho- so I've had some problems with cysts after that. This week has been one of those weeks. I started having trouble on Saturday (wilst on a date- no bueno). So finally I caved today and went to the butthead doctor--who basically called me a big baby and gave me some painkillers (HOWEVER- if I was being a baby why would he give me drugs..huh? HUH?). So my final word to you is this- boys don't call women big babies unless you have experienced years of menstrual cramps and all the not-so-fun stuff that comes with being a girl, you might just get a round house kick to the face. :) Loves!

[Committment]

People should really follow through when they make plans with someone. Thats all I have to say.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. -Kahlil Gibran

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. -Kenji Miyazawa

[Epiphany]

"There are no accidents." - Master Oogway

"Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart & learn to love the questions themselves. Do not seek for the answers because you are not yet ready to live them. Live the questions now & maybe someday, further down the road, you'll find the answers" -Letters to a Young Poet

These put my heart to rest. I have spent far too much time lately worrying about things that I am not ready to know the answers to, things that are out of my control. I need to enjoy the uncertainty and embrace the unknown- as cheesy and cliche as that sounds...

"Life is to be enjoyed, not endured."

[Apple Poem]

Girls are like apples on trees.

The best ones are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

So the apples at the top think that something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing.

They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

-Author Unknown

Gravity [Sara Bareilles]

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

[Meadowlark]

WHEN I WAS A GIRL l I HAD A FAVORITE STORY
OF THE MEADOWLARK WHO LIVED WHERE THE RIVERS WIND
HER VOICE COULD MATCH THE ANGELS' IN ITS GLORY
BUT SHE WAS BLIND, THE LARK WAS BLIND
AN OLD KING CAME AND TOOK HER TO HIS PALACE
WHERE THE WALLS WERE BURNISHED BRONZE AND GOLDEN BRAID
AND HE FED HER FRUIT AND NUTS FROM AN IVORY CHALICE
AND HE PRAYED:

"SING FOR ME, MY MEADOWLARK,
SING FOR ME OF THE SILVER MORNING,
SET ME FREE, MY MEADOWLARK,
AND I'LL BUY YOU A PRICELESS JEWEL
AND CLOTH OF BROCADE AND CREWEL
AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOR LIFE,
IF YOU WILL SING FOR ME."

THEN ONE DAY AS THE LARK SANG BY THE WATER
THE GOD OF THE SUN HEARD HER IN HIS FLIGHT
AND HER SINGING MOVED HIM SO
HE CAME AND BROUGHT HER THE GIFT OF SIGHT
HE GAVE HER SIGHT
AND SHE OPENED HER EYES TO THE SHIMMER AND THE SPLENDOR
OF THIS BEAUTIFUL, YOUNG GOD, SO PROUD AND STRONG
AND HE CALLED TO THE LARK IN A VOICE BOTH ROUGH AND TENDER
"COME ALONG.
FLY WITH ME, MY MEADOWLARK,
FLY WITH ME ON THE SILVER MORNING,
PAST THE SEA WHERE THE DOLPHINS BARK
WE WILL DANCE ON THE CORAL BEACHES,
MAKE A FEAST OF THE PLUMS AND PEACHES
JUST AS FAR AS YOUR VISION REACHES
FLY WITH ME."

BUT THE MEADOWLARK SAID NO
FOR THE OLD KING LOVED HER SO
SHE COULDN'T BEAR TO WOUND HIS PRIDE
SO THE SUN GOD FLEW AWAY
AND WHEN THE KING CAME DOWN THAT DAY
HE FOUND HIS MEADOWLARK HAD DIED
EVERY TIME I HEARD THAT PART I CRIED ...

AND NOW I STAND HERE STARRY-EYED AND STORMY
OH, JUST WHEN I THOUGHT MY HEART WAS FINALLY NUMB
A BEAUTIFUL, YOUNG MAN APPEARS BEFORE ME,
SINGING "COME, OH, WON'T YOU COME?"
AND WHAT CAN I DO IF FINALLY FOR THE FIRST TIME
THE ONE I'M BURNING FOR RETURNS THE GLOW?
IF LOVE HAS COME AT LAST IT'S PICKED THE WORST TIME
STILL I KNOW
I'VE GOT TO GO


FLY AWAY, MEADOWLARK
FLY AWAY IN THE SILVER MORNING,
IF I STAY, I'LL GROW TO CURSE THE DARK
SO IT'S OFF WHERE THE DAYS WON'T BIND ME
I KNOW I LEAVE WOUNDS BEHIND ME
BUT I WON'T LET TOMORROW FIND ME
BACK THIS WAY
BEFORE MY PAST ONCE AGAIN CAN BLIND ME
FLY AWAY ...
AND WE WON'T WAIT
TO SAY GOOD-BYE
MY BEAUTIFUL YOUNG MAN
AND I.

[Untitled]

Ice Cream :)

Sometimes girls just need ice cream. Its a strange and unexplained phenomenon.

Yesterday Amberly and I went on an adventure. We began at Maggie Moo's for

ice cream; s

he got red

velvet brownie bits

and I espresso w/cookie dough. Mmmm. Next we headed over to Target to get some treats to sneak into the movie via my huge purse. Amberly even let me look at the office supplies. Next it was over to the Cinemark for a movie; Eclipse. Please spare me of your opinions. I liked it. Hahaha.

Anyway. Here are a few quotes I came across this morning. Have a great day. :)

"Every man dies--not every man lives."

-William Wallace

"Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever."

-Lance Armstrong

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."

-Albert Einstein

Graduation: An End & A Beginning

"Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I hope your dreams take you...to the corners of your smiles, to the highest of your hopes, to the windows of your opportunities, & to the most special places your heart has ever known." -Unknown

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

"To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

“Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.”

So I'm new at this blogging thing, so if anyone has any suggestions or comments-please feel free. Haha.

So I started this to kinda sort through this new chapter in my life. I am newly graduated & am off to college in the fall (August 21 to be exact). There are so many new things coming my way, & I can't wait to be a part of it all, even though it kinda scares the crap out of me. Anyway, so for the time being I'm just working & playing with my friends while we're all in one place. Kara, Darren, & Spencer are going to BYU, Rachel-SUU, Amberly & Merrie-BYU-I, & I'm going to Westminster. Not to mention my awesome guy friends going on missions-- Spencer(Finland), Dallin, Darren, & Zach. I really am blessed to have such awesome friends. Love you guys!

--XOXO, Mel

One Day More [Matthew Morrison]

There are days we want, always to remember

& There are days we try to forget

& There are times, they tell me, when the load gets to heavy

But we haven't found one yet.

You are my life, my strength, my joy, my all.

What I ask is small...

Just let me love you one day more

& Then tomorrow night, when the stars shine bright

I know what I'll be wishing for; I want another, one day more.

That's all I'll ask you for.

People come and go, prospects will suprise us.

Then as fast- they'll all disappear.

Whatever tricks we fall for, we're immune to them all

For we have a life right here

As far as partners go, I'm yours although

What I bring is small...

I wanna love you one day more.

& Then tomorrow night, when the stars shine bright

I know what I'll be wishing for; I want another, one day more.

That's all I'll ask you for.

Dawn into sunset. Year after year.

Just let me love you one day more.

& Then tomorrow night when the stars shine bright

I know what I'll be wishing for-

I'll want another, & another, & another, & another, & another day, & another day, & another day, & another day.

How could I wish for more?

That's all I'll ask you for.